Monday, December 4, 2017

Sorry I'm Late, All My Cyber Monday Packages Arrived At Once And I Couldn't Open My Front Door

Uh-oh, I'm worried, nobody on Outside's Facebook page has said they're going to stop reading forever because of my column about how driving kids to school sucks:


You also have to wonder that if even that crowd agrees we shouldn't drive our kids to school then why the hell do we keep driving our kids to school?

Well, obviously it's a rhetorical question, and the answer is that we're all massive hypocrites.

I did, however, open the door to the ol' Minnesota Humblebrag:

They never let you forget their winters are colder than yours:


Hey, my second grader takes the school bus, screw that--though we did have a pretty knarly shred sesh yesterday:


Of course we didn't actually ride, I just sat him down on that rock and lectured him on the importance of proper tire pressure for three hours, but that didn't make it any less exciting.

And with the holidays coming he's going to love his present:

If you're wondering why it's for kids, take a closer look at the scoop:


It's his only present this year and I don't think he's going to be disappointed at all.

Speaking of holiday gift ideas, do you like caps?  Well how about numbers?  Well, now you can order a custom cap from Walz with your very own number on it!


Not only that, but you get $5 off your order if you use the following discount code:

BSNYCCB

And...and...if you show up at my next Fondon't ride with a 46 on your cap I'll waive the entry fee:*


*[I don't charge an entry fee anyway but don't you worry about any of that.]

Wow, between the sealant kit and the cap I may have to curate a holiday gift guide.

In other news, at the risk of repeating myself (though isn't that what I've been doing here for the past ten years anyway?), I'd like to share with you a couple things I mentioned in the Bike Forecast this morning.  First is this Canadian editorial about why riding bikes causes pollution:


As a consequence of the idling traffic, pollution levels have risen, contributing to what is now deemed a toxic stew. Ironically, cyclists are especially harmed, and not just because the bike lanes they speed upon are adjacent to tailpipes. According to a study by the London School of Medicine, cyclists have 2.3 times more inhaled soot than walkers because “cyclists breathe more deeply and at a quicker rate than pedestrians while in closer proximity to exhaust fumes … Our data strongly suggest that personal exposure to black carbon should be considered when planning cycling routes.” Cyclists have begun wearing facemasks as a consequence. A recent headline in The Independent helpfully featured “5 best anti-pollution masks for cycling.” Neighbourhoods endure extra pollution, too, with frustrated autos cutting through residential districts to avoid bike-bred congestion.

Anyway, I mention it again here, because not only is the writer an oil lobbyist, but it also turns out he's an anti-vaxxer a "vaccine safety" advocate.  I suppose there is a certain logic to his worldview though, since if people spend their entire lives inside of single-occupancy vehicles then maybe we won't need vaccines after all:


I have a bad feeling that mentioning vaccines is going to do the same thing for my comments section that mentioning vehicular cycling did, though now that I've switched on the "moderation" feature my blog is essentially inoculated, so there you go.

The other thing I wanted to mention was this video, in which a cyclist takes an NYPD officer to task for blocking the bike lane:



On one hand I think he's kind of out of his mind for talking to them that way, but on the other hand I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment behind it, and when you see the police blocking the bike lane to get their coffee day after day it's only a matter of time before you snap.

Finally, here's someone looking to raise a bunch of money for oversized stem caps:


Yes, we've all been tormented by ordinary stem caps for far too long, and it's good to know that the end of their reign of terror is a mere $15,500 away.

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

Podio, bitches

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

No comments yet ...

In the tennus ??

vsk

wle said...

That bike lane cop whisperer! What a Mr Sassy-pants!

N/A said...

It's convenient when idiots like Lawrence Solomon let you know that they're anti-vax. You can rest easy knowing that anything coming out of their pie-holes is worthless and you can just avoid anything coming from them. Saves all sorts of time. I did, however, skim through the bike article anyhow. I don't think there are more than three words strung together that can be considered correct.



Nice to see the picture of one of your human children and your bikes, Wildcat. It's a lot of fun just riding around with them.

Pist Off said...

I can haz knee slicing top cap? No thanks. I guess now that cycling has been getting more popular it’s the cause of urban air pollution? Anyone who isn’t on the oil industry’s payroll might think it was because there are more and more cars and trucks on the roads every year.

Anonymous said...

Damn, those cops are in a good mood! You can imagine the whooping they'd dole out if they didn't have coffee in their hands.

YUGE SACK

BeerDrivenCyclist said...

6st? Maybe I should get that on a cap for Christmas?

Anonymous said...

Everybody knows that cyclists act as the mussels and clams of the terrestrial world: We breathe in pollutants, filter them out with our kidneys, then excrete them into septic tanks or municipal sewage systems.

Anonymous said...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Solomon

This guy has a special place in hell waiting for his ass.

Anonymous said...

While the cops oughta know better than to block the bike lane, this clown complains about it in a way that makes it seem he's in a hurry, then proceeds to waste way more time running his mouth. Same with motorists - you often get the old "Get outta my way, I'm important and in a hurry!" before they stop to waste a bunch of time yelling about it. Self-important jerkoffs are never in short supply, whether they ride bikes or drive cars. Is NYC #1 in this category?

Anonymous said...

Where are your other 16 (sixteen) spawn?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:20pm,

Dunno, seems to me the self-important jerkoffs in that video are the the city employees who are paid to enforce the law parking their car in the bike lane for a coffee break and who can't even say, "Sorry man, be outta your way in a second."

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Late stroke Bob said...

Give 'em hell Mr. Green Tire. "you can eat my aSS"

streepo said...

scranus

HDEB said...

NYC is #1 in self-important jerkoffs -- Hooray. Riding with ones human children is a great joy : )

schaughvn said...

just watched the video. less than one minute in and I knew the bike was a fix gear. why do bikes with such seemingly simple drive train alignment make the loudest noise?

Chazu said...

Given the population density in that zip code, "You can eat my ass, pal" is not the the most offensive traffic-related utterance heard that day.

Heck, "Screw you, pal" is practically a friendly greeting there.

...aaaannd reCAPTCHA required me to identify all the cars prior to submitting this useful comment for moderation.

Anonymous said...

no more bikes, no more teachers, no more school, and i can't even think of a cool word to rhyme with. time to eliminate (illuminate?) solar panels as they capture more energy/heat that would otherwise be reflected back into space should they be replaced by mirrors. and time to teach kids about the dangers of becoming a professional cyclist and or writer.

Anonymous said...

I like how Mr. Lawrence identifies himself as a former supporter of Cycling before then proceeding to bash it for money; Dollars to donuts that the Urban Renaissance Institute and Energy Probe Research Foundation pretty much just him.

Is bicycling infrastructure under-utilized? Oh I am sure it is! Just as paved roads were under-utilized in 1913!! I am sure the bike lanes in Amsterdam were under-utilized 20 years ago! BUT, look at'em now! Hard for me to imagine the internal dialog of a person like this? The machinations of a mind that has to convince itself of Some sort of obtuse argument in order to keep the petro dollars streaming in and food on the table. Sad really.

To be honest cities support bicycling for probably less then Idealistic reasons; They have smog regulations to meet and urban development grants to pay for the bike paths which in turn promote quality of life, recreation opportunities that draw young people to certain parts of town, raising property values and increasing Tax revenues. IT's A win, win, win scenario. (At least until Trumpholio shuts it down) Still, I ain't complaining, increased bike infrastructure has cut 10 minutes off my commute and removed me from traffic across 60+% of my route. When other folks see me blithely cruising along while they steam in traffic, it can only motivate more to do the same. - masmojo

JLRB said...

Anon at 2:17 corrected:
"Everybody knows that cyclists act as the mussels and clams of the terrestrial world: We breathe in pollutants, filter them out with our kidneys, then excrete them into omments on a bike blog."

Joe said...

Cyclist holiday gift guide:
1. Black bar tape
---- End of list

Anonymous said...

Seat is too low on that Specialized.

St. Nick said...

Happy Saint Nicolas Day!

jellyfishsalad71 said...

Wow! Where to start with that Lawrence Solomon article. Superficially it appears well written but is full of total bullshit and outright lies! A quick look shows that he's also written a book to promote climate change denial while repeatedly referring to himself as an environmentalist so i guess its not surprising that he would hate on bicycles.

JLRB said...

Metro says a man threw an abandoned LimeBike onto the tracks, damaging a new train

"The bike landed between the two rails and was struck by an arriving Orange Line train about 90 seconds later,” Metro said.

Anonymous said...

"Bike bred congestion"

I must live on a different planet where I notice that congestion on public motorways results from a bunch of people driving their leased Hyundais to "Dick knows where". I'm content to sit back and draw upon the font of knowledge that is Leroy's Dog [https://twitter.com/leroys_dog] for his opinion on this manner.

jodphoto said...

I love riding in the city. It has a level of inconvenience which makes it challenging, though. An important cycling skill is to not let your adrenaline do your talking. Cops need to be a few steps from their cars if they are to be available when needed. All this pissy little fuck accomplished is to make it more likely that another cyclist will bear the consequences of his self-entitled bitching.

bieks said...

VACCINES?! VACCINES?!

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SIDE YOU'RE ON. HELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIDE I'M ON. JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM ALREADY! I'M OUTRAGED!

Oh, and biggest mistake cities made was promoting automobiles. There's your air pollution problem. Unless you like air pollution. Then tear out all the sidewalks, bike lanes ... and parking lanes - they're impeding traffic. The polluters will come to fill them. Guaranteed.

Bogusboy said...

Hey, Dale Gentry...
Icy roads are Nature's way of telling you to
GET THE FUCK OUT OF ST PAUL!!!!

Drock said...

Take air from cop wagon tires, change habits without speaking. The most powerful are always the least vocal.

BikeSnobNYC said...

jodphoto,

I was with you until the part about how "cops need to be a few steps from their cars if they are to be available when needed."

--Wildcat Etc.

Die free said...

Awesome video from Mr Green Tire. May you always carry a running video recorder.

We need more, more, more, more. Videos, pictures and reports to hold these employees accountable.

Persia said...

Better approach.

Don't say a word.

1. Take photo of cop car in bike lane.
2. Take photo of cops with coffee and (presumably) doughnuts.
3. Send both to cop's boss, asking why is it so?
4. Receive apology from cop's boss, noting that cops have been told off.
5. Ride off into sunset.

Works for me in Oz. Your mileage may vary in the USA.

NYCHighwheeler said...

@Peersia
Your dealing with metric cops, around NYC, all the cops are Standard American cops.

Actually, cops vary tremendously all over the country. Even within NYC, each boro has different behaviors. I think Manhattan south has the worst treatment toward cyclists. They really have a hard-on for tackling and ticketing cyclists. As if they are single-handedly going to win the-good-fight against the dreaded scorcher!

Chainring said...

Only because I am required by law to say this:

Where's your kid's fucking helment?!

I mean, he's sitting near a bike, he could get hit in the head by a passing pigeon or elbowed by a homeless roadie. This is a serious matter and I'm not sure you're taking it as such.

Anonymous said...

All I want for Christmas is

Anonymous said...

Hey masmojo, where do you live? (I'm not a perve looking for your address, just interested in which cities are getting things done.)

Anonymous said...

Hey masmojo, where do you live? (I'm not a perve looking for your address, just interested in which cities are getting things done.)

Lisa Hyundai said...

Green tire "eat my ass" guy is my new spirit animal.

Some guy from upstate said...

Why does the tubeless kit come with tubes?

Unknown said...

Is no one thing to say anything about Snob's son's pie plate??...????

Chance Stitcher said...

Is no one going to mention the Snob's son's pie plate???

BikeSnobNYC said...

Chance Stitcher,

He has to pay his dues. The Bearer of the Pie Plate must first become self-aware and remove the fig leaf of ignorance himself. Or something.

--Wildcat Etc.